Lost at Sea

Everything is so cold.

Warm waters gave way to thick floes, ice carving its way to the heart of my vessel. My companions have all fled the ship, drowning on their own terms rather than mine. The chill of loneliness soaks into my bones as the salty spray assaults me with each wave.

Had I known my path would lead me here, perhaps I would have stayed on the sandy beaches. Predicting sunburn, I took to the seas, and now the only sand I shall lie upon will be in the depths of the dark. Death by logic; the irony draws a stiff chuckle. My hand flies to my mouth to smother the sound. Laughter has no place here. Laughter means I’ve been broken. I am alone, I am cold, I am all but hopeless, but I am not yet broken.

The small bit of hope I’ve kept dry in my soul searches for an escape. A stormy sky drops water from above, and a stormy sea throws water from below. Up is down and under is over and I am suffocating. It fills my lungs, it clings to my skin, it burns my eyes. I can neither see nor hear.

It bites, snaps, steals, breaks. I can feel the cracks widening. Panic. Adrenaline. Fear. Determination.

My ship is torn apart, the wrack creating new obstacles to overcome. A choking breath, a staggered heartbeat. One more fight for survival. Sheets of ice prove how unforgiving the sea can be. Unforgiving but not impossible.

I climb aboard, ignoring the frostbite in favor of sweet oxygen. I dig my nails into the ice, the pain reminding me I can still feel. It burns but I smile, because I’m alive.

The storms calm and the waves recede. The surface glistens like diamonds adrift, my hope drying in the open air. The damning caveat: my raft is melting. The sun has returned with its glaring irony, watching over me with a devilish grin. Time is as small as my saving grace, growing smaller by the minute.

Small fishes nip playfully at my toes. I’ll lie among them soon on a bed of regret and failure. Their tiny mouths tickle, and I chuckle. My hand flies to my mouth, but it hovers mid-way there. I am alone, my hope is melting, I am damaged, but I am dry. I survived the storms, the ice, the deluge. Surely the salt and sun are no match for what I’ve already been through.

This is my life now. Lost at sea, alone, combating the inevitable upset with every wave and sunbeam that will come for me. I must adapt to the madness if I am to live. Silent tears break free and join the ocean, oblivious to my resolve.

Unhindered, I laugh.

And I laugh.

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