“The vampire stole my rose,” she said sadly. She ran a hand through her long, wavy hair, watching the platinum blonde stream between her fingers like liquid silk. The officer looked at her skeptically.
“That’s a bit out of character for a vampire, isn’t it? A beautiful young woman such as yourself, your neck exposed, and he takes a flower?” He ran his eyes down her pale, bare neck, then guided them ever so slowly around the curves of her voluptuous bosom, nearly visible through the sheer fabric of her dress. He felt himself grow hot—and more than a bit dizzy—on the roller coaster of her slim waist and wide hips. Her white, strapless dress stopped just above her knees, though her legs continued on for miles. They ended in petite bare feet, adorned with anklets that connected to toe rings on her middle toes. She was as beautiful as a goddess. He brought his attention back to her full, round curves, wondering if, intimately, her motions would be comparable to a goddess as well.
“I suppose so…” Her words ripped him out of his fantasizing. He followed her gaze as she looked over toward the four humanoids sitting on the bench, two of them disheveled and in handcuffs and the other two staring in opposite directions, looking very aggravated. “But he did, he stole it right out of my hair.” The officer shook his head in disbelief and jotted down a few words in his notepad. This was not what he had expected when the Captain told him he’d be patrolling a universal park.
The officer stared at the tall, ashen man before him. He was dressed all in black, but rather than looking gothic, as the officer would have originally assumed a vampire would dress, he was surprisingly stylish. His dark pants, upon closer inspection, were actually jeans. They were form fitting with a black leather belt that appeared to be more for show than for practicality. His black undershirt was so tight, it might as well have been spray-painted on. Every muscle was visible, making the officer shrug uncomfortably, knowing full well that on himself the shirt would have a much more undesirable effect. The velvety black overcoat that the man wore was intricately embroidered with rose patterns and vines.
“So, tell me about the rose. I see it matches your style.”
The man nodded. He propped up one foot on a nearby chair and leaned forward, resting his wrists on his knee. Even in handcuffs, he was able to strike a dashing pose. He glanced toward the goddess and the other three people sitting on the bench.
“See that gorgeous young woman over there?”
“The goddess?” asked the officer.
“No, no—the captivating seductress on the left.” he licked his lips hungrily. “The dark green of her skin is like living emerald; the rich chocolate hair that trails down her back like a wave of fresh blood—”
“Yes, yes; I see her. The alien chick.” The vampire bared his sharp teeth and hissed, his eyes narrowing angrily.
“She’s of the Zen Whoberi. She’s no simple ‘alien’; I suggest you watch your tongue if you fancy keeping it.” He paused, then added respectfully, “Sir.” The officer’s only reaction was to raise an eyebrow. The vampire sighed and went on. “Yes, I stole the rose. But surely you agree that the woman whose hair held it prisoner had no use of a fleeting beauty such as that which a flower might offer? My love, however, would truly appreciate the delicate petals in their pitiful attempt at comparison to her timeless perfection.”
The officer recorded the vampire’s testimony, and sent him back to the bench.
“Uh…so, you can speak, right?” the officer asked cautiously.
He swallowed and took a small step back. Running a finger nervously between his collar and his neck, the officer asked the furry gray creature to explain her involvement in the incident.
“That ignorant Prince of Darkness refuses to see reason.” She snarled, her lips curling back to reveal her large, yellow canines. She looked over at the green woman, who seemed oblivious to the attention she was receiving from the vampire, snorting loudly through her silver snout. “His lust for other females is like an itch I can’t scratch, and I’ll tear out all my fur before he sees that I’ve been right here all this time! Grr!”
The wolf-woman growled, then dropped her face to her hands and whimpered. Her tail swished softly from side to side as her shoulders heaved with her sobbing. Taking pity on her, the officer tentatively reached out a hand and gently rubbed her back.
“I… I’m sorry,” he managed to say. This line of questioning was fast becoming more awkward than he had anticipated. He removed his hand from her back; the initial thoughtfulness of the gesture was lost when he realized it appeared that he was petting a large dog.
“So, you chased him?”
“I did. The blonde woman tried to speak to me, saying something about rescuing her precious flower, but everyone knows not to put yourself in the way of an angry wolf. Besides, what do I look like? A golden retriever? Ha! If she fell down, that was her own fault, not mine.”
“Wait-—you knocked down Aphrodite just so you could chase a guy who doesn’t want you?”
She growled a deep, low rumble and took a step toward the officer. Her eyes shone with the anger of a woman’s wrath, and the officer tossed his hands up in front of him.
“Okay, sorry, you’re right. She fell.” Satisfied that he believed her, the wolf relaxed.
“I helped her up; not because I am an angel of the Lord, but because she was in distress. My mission involves much more than just removing hell’s scourge from the earth.” The so-called angel spoke firmly and confidently.
“Well, I’m sure she was grateful for that. But what I’m unclear on is why you were involved in the incident at all.” The officer ended his sentence with a rising inflection, indicating that he expected an explanation. The angel nodded in understanding.
“The werewolf. My comrades and I were hunting down a nearby pack when I saw her running off on her own. I would have left her until the pack was eradicated, but when I saw her shove the woman in white, I knew she was dangerous and that she must be killed first, for the safety of the others here.”
The officer looked up at the angel, who was a few inches taller than himself. A drop of blood was smeared across his lower lip, and his short, dark brown hair was tousled.
“So you followed her to the others?” the officer asked as he scribbled in his notepad. “Then what happened?”
The green woman shifted nervously in her chair. She was the first of them to sit down. A thick lock of her long, dark hair had fallen in front of her face, and she threw it over her shoulder with a quick toss of her head.
“I was just, like, sitting there, talking to my sister. We came here together.”
“Go on.” The officer waved his hand, urging her to continue.
“Okay, well, so like, the vampire came over and handed me this flower and started talking all weird, like Shakespeare or something. Then this werewolf comes up and starts yelling at me, saying I ‘stole her man’ and stuff, which I totally didn’t do, right?” It was a little hard to follow, but the officer got the gist of things.
“Right. Is that when the angel showed up?”
“O-M-G. That angel is out-of-this-world adorable. Look at that rockin’ coat he wears, and those amazing wings. He’s, like, wow.”
“Oh! Sorry. Yeah, that’s when he got there.”
The officer flipped to a new page in his notepad.
“I’d like to get this wrapped up; what did the angel do when he got to the scene?”
“He totally got all up in that werewolf’s face. It was pretty rad. I mean, she deserved it, she was being a total biyatch. Then the vampire—like, I guess he knew the wolf chick?—he was all, like, ‘hey man, back off’ but the angel was like, ‘no way, bloodsucker’ and he punched him.”
“The angel punched the vampire?”
The green woman laughed. “No, the vampire punched the angel. It was crazy, too, coz like, that angel guy is way bigger than that vamp dude. But they were a pretty close match,” she admitted. “I still think the angel won in the end, but don’t tell the wolf that; she’s like, territorial for that vampire.”
The officer finished up his notes, then skimmed through the testimonies he had received. Crazy, he thought, that all this could start just because a vampire stole a rose.
Just as the officer was about to speak to the five involved in the incident, a voice came over the loudspeaker.
All right, Supernatural fans, Jensen and Jared have returned from their break. Signings are set to begin again shortly if you’ll all please form a line. Also, the Marvel panel is on schedule for two o’clock, so get your questions ready!
“Awesome! Come on guys, we’ll finish this later,” the officer said enthusiastically.
“Yes!” shouted the vampire, sliding his plastic handcuffs off his wrists and tossing them over to the angel.
“I call dibs on Jensen,” Aphrodite said in a sing-song voice before high-fiving the werewolf. The green woman slid her arms around the vampire’s waist as they led the group toward the already-forming line across the room. The angel trailed behind, wiping the ketchup off his mouth and eating the last few fries left in the box, then tossing it in the trash. He made sure they didn’t leave any props on the bench before slipping his and the vampire’s handcuffs into his trench coat pockets and following after his friends.
This short story was inspired by a writing prompt. The prompt was:
“A vampire stole my…”
If this story or prompt inspired you, let me know in the comments!